Johannes

My depression crept up on me, as it were.

I had a lot of things on my mind, and I hadn’t really expected it. When I was a child, my father told me repeatedly about the importance of hard work. He was something of a perfectionist and criticised my academic performance a lot. When his father died, he had to quit school early to support his family. That’s why he always urged me to realise my full potential. I don’t think I would have been so successful in my career without him.

I just couldn't motivate myself

I was working at a marketing company and had great difficulty coping with the workload. I found it very difficult to concentrate. I was aware that the quality of my work was declining, but I still simply couldn't motivate myself to work. I took more and more days off sick. I simply didn’t have enough energy to get out of bed in the morning. I had always been a success-oriented person and was often named "Employee of the Month" because of my performance, but that seemed a very long time ago.

One day, my supervisor called me into his office. He told me that the quality of my work no longer met my usual high standards. Even though he didn't say it directly, I knew that I could lose my job if I didn't take action. I felt so ashamed.

I read a self-help book about depression and everything seemed to fit. The book was based on a therapy method known as CBT. It was very helpful and helped me to understand my feelings better.